#2 // Motherhood Can Be Pretty Scary!

Hi People!

Don't you just love the smell of a new beginning! I love empty page, because I can smear the clean page with my choice of words. Buahahhha. Here I go popping cherry on the never been touch page!

In conjunction to the recent Halloween, let me write a post relating to it. Heh. So what is more scary than Hantu or Halloween? 

I tell you; it's MOTHERHOOD.

When I first sign up for this membership calls Motherhood, I thought the club members will accept me for who I am.  Oh boy, was I wrong. The public opinions that I have to deal with (please select one) scares/amuse/angers me greatly.  I can take in positively advises that doesn't cross the line. It's those kind that gets shoved down your throat is not ok.  *groans*  The choice to be being on stealth mode during my pregnancy really helps my sanity.

There are so much 'no-s, don'ts, you can't do that!' that I can swallow before I erupt people. Give me a break. God.

Motherhood brings out the best as well as the *cringe* worst out of me.

I have never thought I could lose my temper more than *starts counting fingers* oh god, I can't even recall ever since I play Mother!

It gets so bad that I have to undergo Anger Management with a psychologist.

So that's how bad it was is.

Here are some list that brings out the worst in me (for now).
 
Little to no sleep. Lack of sleep before I have Beans was ok because I had so much freedom to do whatever I want. Even if i finally sleep and wake up late in the morning, it's still fine because I have nobody to tend to except the husband. BUT add in no sleep plus having to wake up every few hours to a whiny, cranky, crying child and STILL have to wake up in the morning to fix breakfast and run the business, then my friends, that is the recipe to disaster. I think I will never hear this word PROPER SLEEP until forever-ver-ver-ver. *echo echo echo*

Tantrums. BOTH Mother and Child. Whiny, cranky child plus (refer to above) me losing control. Probably will freak out passerby or strangers and the husband who just wants peace and rest.

On solo duty. HAHAHHAHAHAHA refer to all of the above PLUS this. My inner demon will be unleashed! Tired, dealing with cranky child and handling everything alone ON TOP of feeling lonely. KABOOM.

Mom-lier-than-thou attitude. These buncha people are just waiting for my bad day to happen. Run as far as you can you fools. Your head is next on my plate!

But all of these worst case scenario, of course I have to give credit to the good side of motherhood.

I never knew I could be this independent. 

I never knew I have so much strength despite being so tired to entertain and put a smile on her face.

I never knew I could love someone so small soooo much with all my heart.

I am taking it one day at a time.  

So how is motherhood scary to you?


Tis' I YOUR ROYAL AWKWARDNESS
Awkward Mom The II