InterState Momsters (Moms+Sisters)

Often misunderstood and misinterpreted.

No one knows us like we do.

 I got your back sister.

I do, I will.

No Matter what,

Oh Boy, It Sure Does Feel Lonely In Here

Sometimes I feel the people in my life are not really aware of what I'm going through. Sure they do give moral support at times or be there but most of the time, I don't think they know what they are talking about.

Do tell me where the hell I could find the switch button to switch off when I am in that state?!

Must you give that annoyed face that I am trying to make you understand that it's not as easy as that. When it hit me, it will take 5-15minutes of "joyride". Of mixed enotions that I cannot take control of. The emotions manifest my physical state. I am tryin my best to stay calm but I can't when i feel as if i am drowning and my chest hurts as though I am getting a heart attack! All these symptoms are making me confused! You tell me how to stay calm!??

My body have its own mind when it comes to this no matter how much I tried to "unpanic" myself as you kindly advised. Yet I am the drama queen, the one who exagerates.

 Maybe you think I'm making this up to run or seek attention.

Let me tell you something. I freaking hope you do not have to face what I am going through.

I am trying to learn how to overcome so please don't assume I am using this as an excuse to gain sympathy.

K.

No matter what, I will do this on my own.

Don't worry, I won't bother you of this anymore. 

Ya Right.

Well hello.

I haven't been blogging because:

there's too many things going on. ok make that times infinity.

I want to compose and pen down my words but, strangely even though my mind is a mess, it feels like a blank canvas these past few weeks.

Work has been mad crazy as of late and the people at the grind kinda contributed to my anxiety. The attacks have become so frequent that they now choked me up, at least, an average of once a week. The first week of January hasn't been too kind but hey, it's Friday ey *positive thinking takes out pompom positive thinking*

I wrote about letting go but ok i am not an unfeeling droid, i am only human.  The one that is trying her best to be a better person so please don't push my buttons.

I am curious why some people think everything is all fine and dandy after just a mere sorry.  I accepted your apology yes, but i don't wish to be connected anymore. Not after the things that were twisted way beyond the facts. Not after what you said about me to my sister. Do you see me going after your family? Your boyfriend? For what you have said about me to my sister, I have every right and intention to open a can of whoopass atcha. But no, i hold my tongue. Seriously, those words are toying in my head. Try as i may to move on, I still have flashbacks of the words you lied about me and my friend gangster. The things you created from nothing. I would be at peace if there was some explainations given as to why you said what you said about me. As to why you assumed me of such. On why you speculated on things i never say or do.

I am deeply dissapointed and hurt because i treated you as a fam. And to think you went to the fallen one to talk about me.

Oh yes you did come up to me and swallowed your ego to be the better person lah right but why? For what? After ruining my relationship with my sister? You don't have to ask how i am because I know i am better. I don't act like an asshole when I am down and out.

That was me, a dastardly asshole. As we grow older we aim for an upgrade, not downgrading yourself. Something you might need more work on.

2016, be nice. I am seriously seriously overly tired beyond exhausted and stretched out, but soldiering on.

Please.